calumthomashoodl:

lazy is such an ugly word I prefer the term selective participation

liquidglue:

me

aa-vi:

Ass grabbin is an important part of every relationship.

darrynek:

you like attention?  how dare you.  how dare anyone like being loved 

ohitsjustkim:

esm398:

jakebumlick:

pika-brew:

pika-brew:

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like trash, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.

The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note

and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

oMGGGG

pizza cares

Pizza understands

pizza spelt its own name wrong

penicillium-pusher:

I think it’s hilarious when people tell me I’m laid back because I’ve pretty much been screaming nonstop in my head since like fifth grade

boomsticks-and-firewater:

puellamagidolaon:

lovrdlogic:

When you crack your knuckles you hurt the skeleton inside you

Good, the skeleton needs to know that I am the alpha and I am in control.

Break your own bones to establish dominance over skeleton.

dicktho:

bf: come over
me: dont u have a period?
bf: we’re gay
me: oh yeah

jesussbabymomma:

Some “humor” blogs literally have no depth whatsoever.
They reblog from the same 6 people or whoever tf is in their little promo group. They got no opinion on anything unless its too promote their IG or up their follower count. They dont speak about social issues because they “dont want to get involved” and answer like one question every month. Those damn Harris poll survey asks that have like 4k reblogs (y'all know exactly what I’m talking about). The tags on everything on their blog is always “follow the person I reblogged this from :)” on every post. Like are you guys alive or did you evolve into real life spambots

jesussbabymomma:

Some “humor” blogs literally have no depth whatsoever.
They reblog from the same 6 people or whoever tf is in their little promo group. They got no opinion on anything unless its too promote their IG or up their follower count. They dont speak about social issues because they “dont want to get involved” and answer like one question every month. Those damn Harris poll survey asks that have like 4k reblogs (y'all know exactly what I’m talking about). The tags on everything on their blog is always “follow the person I reblogged this from :)” on every post. Like are you guys alive or did you evolve into real life spambots